Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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