I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
