Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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