so that wasnt chicken after all
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
