Farmville is her only friend.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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