Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
