Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
