I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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