I think I won the penis lottery.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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