I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize