i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
