How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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