So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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