And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize