Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
do nipples grow back?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
