have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
