whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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