so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
