worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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