K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
