And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
