dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
