please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
