May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
