Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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