The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So much Jack, so little girl.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
