ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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