a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize