its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You were trust falling into bushes
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize