Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
