this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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