Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
