Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
is it fun? or sober?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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