problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
my liver is dry heaving
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize