ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
