We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize