How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
