Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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