i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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