Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
