fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
