k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
