He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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