Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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