I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
