Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
