If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
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