We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
The power of my boobs compel you
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize