She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
