I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
