and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So much rum. So many feels.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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