Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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