I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
