thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Randomize
