Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
