Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
