he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I am one with the molecules
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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