I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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