In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
