I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
