No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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