I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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