pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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