If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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