I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
