I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
