I want to stick my p in your. b.
You can't motorboat a personality
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
