super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
