I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The best revenge is premature balding
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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