I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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